A Mother's Book of Secrets

For Mother's Day, my sweet mother-in-law gave me a book that I have thoroughly enjoyed called A Mother's Book of Secrets by Linda Eyre and her daughter Shawni Eyre Pothier. It's about enjoying motherhood through the chaos before it's over and you miss even the craziness. It's also teaching me about some of the ways to avoid pitfalls and keeping what's important for the family in the family. (It's much more than that, but I highly recommend it to every mom.)

Motherhood is my life inside and out these days and it's been such a joy for me to read and find that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I am relieved to see that several of the secrets I am already doing and come naturally, (thanks to my own wonderful mother!); others are new to me, but it's nice not to feel like a failure for only starting them now.

Lists:
An old roommate and dear friend of mine would take out her planner every night before bed and make a list of all of the things she needed to accomplish the following day. She was so good about it then, I wouldn't be surprised if she still is. I love making lists and organizing my tasks, especially if I have a particularly busy day. My favorite part is making a little check next to each item or crossing it through (sometimes I even add something I've already done just so I can mark it off). I am not as consistent as Jeanette, and having kids has really forced me to relax about a few things. I've had to find a balance between the part of me that wants to get it done (I get into this zone of productivity) and the part of me that wants to be a good mom...the kind that doesn't yell at her kids for pulling the room apart - again!
The organized (sometimes OCD) me wants to have a perfectly clean house, etc. but then I start expecting that and I get anxious when it doesn't happen. I'm not pleasant when this happens so I tell myself to relax. Some days when I am relaxed and let things happen without my list I get more done than if I had something to follow. (But then I can't mark my progress and cross things off. ;) Eventually, my drive "to do" falls, and I get anxious again that not enough is getting done. It's a vicious cycle. Sigh.

Have you ever taken those color personality tests? I love 'em. I am red and blue...I call myself purple. :) What color are you? Purple is a rare type and doesn't exist well together, at least not in the same person. My lists have left me for the time being. Mostly, because for me and more importantly, it means that I am a better mom, at least I think it does. The red in me is just going to have to wait. And yet, I read this great book about these mom's who I can totally relate to and have become my friends (even though, of course, we've never met), and they are sharing their secrets about how their goal setting and planning and list making, etc. have helped them succeed. I can see it. It makes sense. I want to be a part of that world that can be organized and clean and still be a good mom that's relaxed enough to handle her adorable terrible two year old.

My mom shared with me once how after her grandkids have come to visit she keeps the fingerprints on the glass as long as she can. It reminds her of those pudgy little hands that she loves so dearly that put them there. Perspective is an amazing thing isn't it. Thank heaven for wise mothers.